St Pauls University Health Informatics Essay

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Brainfuse Writing Lab. Thank you for choosing the Writing Lab. Best wishes with your revisions! Part 1 – Organization This is a very good start to your paper. I don’t see much in the way of organization that needs any improvement. Your headings and topic sentences are clear and you use effective transitions between paragraphs. Part 2 – Development My suggestion here is that you add more information from your sources. You provide relevant details for the paragraphs in which they appear, but more would be helpful. There are a few places in which additional detail would clarify some of the content. Part 3 – Formatting and Style I left some in-text comments regarding grammar. I came across issues with the following: punctuation, proper nouns, repetition, clarity, word choice, pairing of articles with nouns, number formatting, acronym usage, and possessive case. It looks like you are writing an APA paper. The title page should include the full title, your name, and the name of the college that you attend, in that order. APA also requires that you not use “Introduction” as the first level one heading, as this is implied. Please review the APA style guide (link below) for additional guidelines for your paper. Useful Links: Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics Please use The Brainfuse Essential Grammar Guide to identify and edit errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics. You can view the guide by clicking on this link below and logging in to Brainfuse: http://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1381694219673.html If you would like a review focused on your grammar, usage, and mechanics, please request a grammar only review in the comments box. Formatting Please use the Brainfuse Style Guides for information on citation formatting. APA https://admin.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1514394321264.pdf MLA https://admin.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1514393937280.pdf Chicago Style https://admin.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1515512833067.pdf Please make all changes to your own original file to maintain your intended formatting, headers, and footers. Nursing Informatics Telehealth Name Professor Course Date Nursing Informatics Telehealth Introduction Telehealth is a collection of various ways of enhancing the delivery of healthcare, healthcare education, public health, and the support that accompanies the ways through advanced technologies [revise the last part of this sentence for clarity; it is unclear what “through advanced technologies” applies to]. Through telehealth, some of the issues affecting parents and their children especially those aged between two and 18 years [review punctuation with parenthetical phrases] can be successfully addressed. One of these issues is the high level of sugar intake that children and teens consume between these ages. Through telehealth, parents can successfully monitor and control the amount of sugar that their children consume. To better understand the use of telehealth in nursing, we shall look at how parents can apply some of the components of telehealth to regulate the amount of sugar that their children consume by using telehealth to educate them [vary your wording to avoid repetition; use pronouns instead]. Discussion Sources of Sugar Sugar is present in many of the everyday meals that we consume. Fizzy drinks, sweets, chocolate, and snacks are the major culprits of high sugar levels. Toddlers and teenagers have a high appetite for these foods and snacks that have a high level of sugar. In addition, foods such as potatoes, rice, and breakfast cereals have a high starch level which is a form of sugar. Both starches and sugar have the same effect on the body as they are digested and stored in the body in the same form. Effects of Overconsumption of Sugar Sugar is needed to produce energy for body functions. [review punctuation when joining a dependent clause with an independent clause] However, sugar is associated with many detrimental health effects. To begin with, sugar has a detrimental effect on leptin. Leptin is a protein that is responsible for telling the brain that the body is full (Eu, 2015). A reduction in this hormone leads to overconsumption which can lead to body and weight issues [review punctuation with adverbs] especially obesity in children and teenagers. In addition to the effects that sugar has on the brain, there are also other physical damages [word choice]. High sugar consumption leads to tooth decay, development of the [review pairing of articles with nouns] non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, development of type 2 diabetes, and increased risk of cancer. Cancer can be acquired since sugar fuels the uncontrolled growth and multiplication of cells. Current Situation As such, high sugar level consumption becomes an issue of great importance to parents. Children and teenagers aged between two and 18 years should consume about 6 [spell out numbers lower than 10] teaspoons of sugar per day which is about 25 grams of sugar. As at present, children and teenagers in America are estimated to consume about 19 teaspoons of sugar per day which is three times the daily recommended limit (Chai, 2016). On children and teenagers in America, this high sugar consumption has been linked to the development of mental illnesses such as Attention-Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (Craig & Foreyt, 2014). This is a disorder that is promoted by children when they consume too much sugar that leads them to exhibit behavior which promotes the development of hyperactive behavior. This, in turn, leads to poor performance by children in school and in other activities. Telehealth and Sugar Consumption To ensure that there are appropriate levels of sugar consumption, the use of telehealth can be applied to enable parents to control the amount of sugar that their children consume. Telehealth enables the incorporation of technology into the monitoring of health patterns in children and adults. One of the technologies that can be used to enhance the monitoring of sugar consumption by parents is the use of a mobile application known as Sugar Tracker. Keeping track of the rate of sugar consumption in children can be a difficult task. This is especially more difficult if the parents are also great fans of high sugar foods such as chocolate and cakes. For children who have diabetes, the monitoring of sugar levels is a far much easier task since they have to check their blood sugar levels frequently. However, for other children, this may be difficult. This is why there is an application [this sounds like you are just introducing the app when you have already done so; I suggest removing this sentence or moving this paragraph before the one in which you mention Sugar Tracker] that enables parents to track the sugar consumption of their children by checking the sugar levels in the foods that they buy. Sugar Tracker is a free application that parents can download straight to their smartphones. The application enables parents to scan the barcode on products that they are purchasing and the sugar levels of the products are reflected on the screen. This is an application that is aimed at highlighting the amount of sugar that is present in everyday foods and items that are consumed by children. Through this app, parents can regulate the amount of sugar that children consume and as such reduce the incidences of tooth decay, obesity, and development of mental health issues [review punctuation with adverbs] especially ADHD. Passing the Information to the Parents This is useful information that parents should have at their fingertips. Telehealth not only enables the maintenance of good health and delivery of quality healthcare but also is useful for education purposes. The parents of children aged between two and eighteen [use numbers for numbers higher than 10] years will be chosen from the local preschool to high school levels. The parents will be educated on the effects of sugar on their children’s health, the amount of sugar consumption that is recommended [review use of the serial comma] and most importantly [review punctuation with adverbs] on the use of Sugar Tracker. Parents will be assembled at the respective schools where their children school [word choice]. As such, this will require the schools to provide halls where the education session will take place. There will be a need for some aids to deliver the information. This will come in the form of laptops, speakers [review use of the serial comma] and projectors. The data will be presented in the form of a PowerPoint presentation. To measure the understanding of parents, they will be given a short questionnaire to fill [word choice] at the beginning and at the end of the session. The questionnaires are aimed at revealing the amount of knowledge that the parents have before the session and the knowledge that they will have at the end of the lesson. Face-To-Face [not proper nouns] interaction often leads to an affirmative declaration. To compensate for the lack of face-to-face interaction, there will be a space at the end of the second questionnaire. This space will ask the parents to declare an action that they are willing to take to control the amount of sugar that their children are using. Conclusion In conclusion, high sugar consumption levels are a serious health issue for children and teenagers. High sugar consumption leads to various detrimental health effects on children. For instance, obesity, tooth decay, and development of attention deficit hyperactive disorder [use the acronym here] are associated with high sugar consumption. To enable parents to control the development of any of these conditions in their children, there is a need to have the children [possessive case] sugar consumption monitored. Through the use of Sugar Tracker, this is possible. This information will be passed to the parents through sessions conducted at local preschool and high school facilities. Laptops, speakers, and projectors will be used for passing the information. Through questionnaires, parents [possessive case] understanding of the issue will be measured. References Chai, C. (2016). How much sugar are your kids eating? Take a look at 3 new sugar limit guidelines. Retrieved from https://globalnews.ca/news/2898066/how-much-sugar-areyour-kids-eating-take-a-look-at-3-new-sugar-limit-guidelines/ Craig, A. J., Foreyt, J. (2014). Sugar Intake in Children and Adolescents and Its Effects on Health. 10.1007/978-1-4899-8077-9_14. Eu, J. (2015). The Effects of Sugar on Health. Institute and Faculty of Actuaries. Retrieved from https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=20&ved=2ahUK Ewi2wZmt4dbiAhU8BWMBHUmBRcQFjATegQIBBAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.actuaries.org.uk%2Fdocuments %2Feffects-sugar-health&usg=AOvVaw27BVECtyHE4IkskwsWac8e
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